Customer Relations
On the first hot day of the spring, Tawiah followed the
script, booked three trouble calls and determined that
each system was more than 10 years old. These three
trouble calls came in after 6:30 p.m. Tawiah followed the
script and asked the customers when they would like
technicians to come out, and they requested the next day.
I immediately got a text message from the owner
blaming Tawiah for making a mistake: Your team just
royally @#$% up! Why in the hell would I want to wait
until tomorrow to run these calls?
I promptly called the owner and said: If you expect
that we will steer the ten-year-old golden opportunities
into the on-call night process and book these calls for
tonight, that is fine. Please clarify that so I can communicate
this to the team. We cannot read your mind.
He responded: Okay, I’ll give you that. He did not
apologize.
We talked a few days later, and he expressed that
he was still pretty angry that we did not book the calls
for that night. I understand his frustration and desire
to go quickly because of his anxiety to increase revenue
and overcome a slow, warm winter. However, his
response to his disappointment was toxic. He escaped
into anger, looked for someone to blame and then did
not apologize.
This pattern repeats itself throughout his culture,
and there is a very high turnover at his company. Do
you see the same pattern in him as in my father?
The fall out
While I was able to shield Tawiah from this toxicity, I
could not protect his team. Here are a few comments
from a person who decided to leave the company:
• This is a miserable place to work.
• I feel so much better having left.
• I did not realize how much the stress was ruining
my weekends.
• My marriage was being affected.
• I wanted to be appreciated and valued.
(Don’t we all?)
When things went wrong, the worker was blamed and
belittled, or regarded as less than important, and was
depreciated and disparaged. Belittlement is a form of
bullying, and if you are allowing it in your culture, you
are at risk of a lawsuit.
Love works better
Anne is a member of our Ukrainian team, which books
and dispatches service calls after hours, on weekends
and on holidays. She is faithful, honest and we can
depend on her. However, Anne is not perfect—who is?
Anne makes mistakes as we all do, but I am pleased
when I look over her performance. Indeed, Anne needs
to improve and grow, but I would give her an “A” if I
were to grade her.
One year, I decided to take New Year’s Eve off, and
I planned to sleep in late. Anne covers the New York
Time zone from 11:00 p.m. until 7:00 a.m. I woke up at
about 6:30 a.m., which is late for me. I planned a morning
of relaxation, or so I thought.
I checked my phone, which I had left in the living
room, and Anne had left me a message. I also had a
missed call from her at 2:00 a.m. She said, Please can
you help me? I went to a friend’s house to work and left
my charging chord at home. My laptop battery died,
and I am offline.
I was a bit distressed and aggravated about this mistake.
It was 6:30 a.m., and we book a lot of calls early
before clients open. I immediately logged in, looked at
the call history file, and quickly determined that no one
called, so this mistake caused no damage. I handled
two calls, and by 7:00 a.m., all of our clients took their
phones back without incident.
I called Anne after all of this was over, and she told
me what happened. I merely said, Lesson learned,
please be more careful in the future.
Why did I not condemn, blame, belittle, disparage
or punish her? Because I am no better than Anne and
have had to learn the same lessons. You see, over the
last 20 years, I forgot to show up to my webinars twice.
The students registered for the class and waited for the
teacher, and the teacher never showed. I needed their
grace, and Anne needed mine.
Moving past mistakes
To make mistakes is part of the human condition, so
when we see one, why are we shocked? If there is a
pattern of repeating the same errors, then the person is
not learning. Handle this type of behavior firmly with
consequences, but in love. Other mistakes are simply
the way we learn. Mistakes are merely feedback that
we need to change something.
Is your culture a culture of blame, condemnation,
ridicule and punishment? If so, I encourage you to
change your thinking. Ask this simple question when
a mistake happens: What can we learn from this, and
how can we improve?
One last note—forgiveness is a powerful spiritual
principle. My dad is 86 years old, and he is moving to
an assisted living facility today as I finish this article.
He and I have an excellent relationship. While he does
still not see his toxic pattern, I have chosen to forgive
him anyway. He has not changed.
I don’t tell you the story about my father to dishonor
him. I am transparent in hopes that others will connect
with the account and begin their healing.
If you work in a culture of blame and feel trapped,
you are not. If you are the owner of a company that
fosters a culture of blame and don’t like it, embrace
the fact that you allowed it or created it. Acceptance
and self-awareness is the first step in changing. If you
want to change it, reach out to me, and we can talk
about how I can facilitate the growth and change in
your culture. If you feel trapped in a toxic culture and
don’t know how to respond, I can help you, too. Please
feel free to contact me at Tel: 205-837-3643 or E-mail:
Roger@rogerdaviston.com. ICM
24 ICM/March/April 2021